Dear Nagger

Fuck civility. You are such a nag. Don’t you get tired of nagging? I know everyone else is tired of it. It’s especially heinous when you send other people to do your nagging because you nag them so hard they’re just looking for a break. Couldn’t you have the balls to come nag us yourself? Don’t you know that it would mean more to you if we said thank you without being nagged? That it makes us not want to thank you for your kindness when you nag us? And seriously, did you have to nag so much at the wedding? Everyone thought you were a huge nag, and I’m sure if you knew how all those new people felt about you, you would be ashamed and embarrassed. Or perhaps you would just complain and lay blame elsewhere. In any case, I wish you were happier, that you led a better life, but the bitterness has rooted deep, and it can’t be sugarcoated: You are seriously just a huge bitch, and it’s a good thing you don’t live around here, because visiting you out of duty would really suck. Actually, I guess it wouldn’t matter, because even if you did, I’m sure we’d see you just as little, nagging be damned.




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